So after all sorts of uncertainties and wonderings, a long series of coincidences and a few last minute surprises, we successfully moved in to our new house a couple of weeks ago 🙂
We feel incredibly fortunate and still can’t believe it – we keep walking from room to room or looking out over the lovely garden, grinning stupidly at each other.
It’s been very strange taking a back seat in such a major life event, but I’m glad we went ahead with it and didn’t let the migraines stall our dream of moving (see previous post The Choice for more on this)
It’s been so frustrating not being able to do as much as I would have liked in the whole process, but frustration is the name of the game at present so there’s nothing new there.
There were many times when I felt incredibly guilty knowing that I couldn’t do my fair share of the work and it was difficult letting others do things for me when I’m used to being independent, but I had to keep accepting my limitations and go with it, otherwise I just made things more difficult and more complicated (either because I broke things, or made mistakes that then needed to be corrected, and/or I got sad or irritated because I wasn’t really capable of doing what I was trying to do, which wasn’t fun for anyone!)
Moving day went surprisingly well – adrenaline is a wonderful thing and I was so excited I managed to keep busy with easy jobs like getting food and drinks for everyone and pottering about not really doing very much but determined to be around.
The worst point was when I had a dizzy spell and so had to sit in an armchair in the middle of the almost-empty lounge at our old house while everybody else was working around me. I felt so guilty, but people were very kind and my husband and I had already agreed key points of the day that I wanted to be part of at all costs, like collecting the keys, so I just had to prioritise and let everything else happen around me. I’m learning – slowly! – but it felt very strange to admit that I couldn’t do things and to let other people do them for me.
So we’re in, and the new house is wonderful (though it needs plenty of work) and the migraines will no longer be the defining feature of 2014.
But what’s blown me away most of all is the huge amount of help and support we’ve had from so many of our friends, and even some people from our church we hardly even know: people who collected boxes and helped us pack them in the weeks leading up to the move (and those who ‘labelled’ them without us realising – that raised a few eyebrows on moving day!); the team of people who emptied our old house into a fleet of cars and vans, then drove in convoy to unload at the new house; various people who have scrubbed and cleaned solidly for hours at a time over the last few days and weeks; people who brought us takeaways or big pots of ready-to-oven meals; people who bought us cards and gifts and people who popped in to say hello and share in all the new experiences.
We’ve been totally overwhelmed by it all and by people’s generosity and kindness, so to all of you – thank you – words could never really show how grateful we are, but it’s a start.
Chronic migraine – what’s it all about?
See first post: My Brain BSOD